I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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