You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
