And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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