I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
