Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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