I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Send help, water and tortillas.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
