Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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