its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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