He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
