Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
