If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
