I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Randomize
