I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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