I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
