another moral hangover. fuck.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
