Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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