Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
