I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
