oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
