i think my tv is drunk
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
