my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
