Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
