He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
