He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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