I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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