i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
