Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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