If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
