just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
