think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
