im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
