You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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