He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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