She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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