Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize