Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
