LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Oh god it's open bar.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
