It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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