I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
