What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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