She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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