i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
