Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
