Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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