I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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