i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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