So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
