i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
