I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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