Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
