new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
