I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
